Letting go of toxic ties as an opportunity to find YOU: These people are your greatest teachers.

When it doesn’t work out with someone, whether it is a potential new romantic relationship or any other encounter with a friend or colleague, take note of the signs so as not to repeat the same cycle again. Have you ever met someone of whom you really liked? The conversation is fluid, you both have so much in common, you just feel plain giddy around this person. Perhaps everything you have visualized seems to have come true in this relationship. As a women’s empowerment consultant, I have had the experience of these interactions with both potential lovers and colleagues. The cautionary sign now for me is if my external talk says, “I really like this person” and my internal talk is having a dialogue with this person or I am recognizing a repeated pattern, I need to caution. I usually find myself feeling anxious, disappointed, hurt or sad. I know then that this person is what I like to call a healing mirror.

A healing mirror is someone who has a lot in common with you, perhaps your lives are very much in sync, things you like to do, your childhood circumstances, your professional attributes, or at least what I have observed to be true. These seem to be the people we find ourselves most attracted too, almost addicted too. What the healing mirror provides is an opportunity for you to HEAL your old beliefs and self talk. This person probably won’t be able to give you what you need (well actually that answer may be subjective for each person depending on the situation and people), but on a deep level, you are attracted to this person because there are still things of your past that need to be healed. For example: beliefs of not being good enough, or worthy, so maybe you attract someone who is unable to provide that for you at that time and you feel rejected. If you can recognize the dynamics, then you know that these people aren’t bad people, because if that is the case then you are avoiding and not dealing with a part of yourself that this person only put up a healing mirror too.

My great uncle Willie, a Benedictine Monk used to say “Thank those people as they were your greatest teachers”. They provide the greatest opportunity for self growth. Now it doesn’t mean you have to throw a red carpet down and honor them, because most likely there is no REAL relationship with the person. But I wonder if we are to change our thoughts process, our responses to the situation, if these relationships can have a future and be beautiful or is it by changing our self talk we just attract a whole new caliber of a person? Something to ponder….

If you find yourself in a relationship similar to this or have seen yourself in a pattern of these, the obsession or need to be with the person who is not providing what you need is about YOU. It is time to refocus your attention on taking care of YOU, your needs, your heart, your goals, your desires. The more your take care of you, the more desirable you will be to any future lover. Try to avoid the emotional reactions which we so easily do, and instead step back and observe what it is you are feeling, what it is they are saying. With every statement find a reframe for yourself and with every statement try to broadcast what they are showing and use “I” statements in what you may be feeling. This is not always easy to do, and I admit has been one of my shortcomings. This might even be a chance to go back into your past to see where you have experienced this feeling before and see if you can fill yourself with the unmet need you are so desperately seeking from this other person.

SatNam – Be in Your True Essence

Learn more about Personal Development Consulting and Emotional Healing Sessions by visiting http://www.hoano.com/MotivationLifeCoaching.htm:
Are you ready to increase your self worth by cultivating self love. Speak your truth and own your power by letting go of toxic ties, old beliefs and emotional blocks no longer serving you. Book a 20 min Free Consultation to see how a Heart Centered Wellness approach can help you through dialogue, imagery and reframe to shift your energy and vibration towards a more empowered you.

I Am Beautiful in My Own Skin: How to Maintain a Healthy Body Image a midst a Partner’s Negative Criticism.

How we feel about ourselves has a direct correlation with the health of our bodies. Whether it is self-inflicted or someone is constantly badgering us with the message, it creates low self-esteem and self-doubt creating an internal dialogue of emotional dis-ease. For the first time in my life I was told by a boyfriend that I was fat. In my eyes I didn’t see myself as a fat person. I have been blessed with a good metabolism and my father’s genes in maintaining a slender/average physique. People used to tell me I was too skinny.

My ex boyfriend used to say my stomach was not flat enough and my butt was not tight enough and I found myself constantly defending my body and wanting him to have a different perception, telling him that I was not fat. Look at me, I would say “I am not fat, I have a nice body”. Hours upon hours scrutinizing in front of the mirror at my flawed body that seemed fine to me. I was in total shock that he saw me like this. I felt hurt. I felt like what is wrong with my body? I felt that I am not good enough for him. That I must keep working harder to have the body that he wants. I think how other men find my body sexy and don’t scroll over every detail of it. I think how some men would be stoked to have a woman like me and my sexy svelte curvacious womanly body. I think that he is crazy for not perceiving me as having a beautiful body already. I ended up working my butt of with a personal trainer for 3 months in order to tone my body and after all of that I never felt that he praised or acknowledged my efforts and nothing had really changed.

Cha – Ching! This is when the light bulb came on and when I realized the change then became about me. I realized at that point that it was not my body. He may have had his own preferences. But I became okay with that. I could do everything imaginable to be toned and perfect, but there was something underlying in our dynamics between us, orders from the universe, that presented this opportunity for me. The dialogue that “I was not good enough for him” and the reactions in defense of my body all needed to change. I also had to ask myself why the hell am I with a man that finds me less than perfect. But what he didn’t realize was that I am perfect just to way I am. I AM BEAUTIFUL IN MY OWN SKIN! He wants something that I am not. He wants a digital image of some perfect body that you find in magazines. I could keep working my butt off to have that body, but then I would ask myself what does he really love. Will he fall in love only when I am successful and have the perfect body. It is a lot to live up to. It is damn exhausting. To have to keep knowing that you are not there yet and only are seen to have potential.

I say to myself that I am only hurting myself by allowing myself to feel that I am not good enough in my body. I am attracting again another relationship that makes me feel lower in my self esteem and I am accepting it. This time it has become about my body. I can not accept this voice in my head that allows him to take control over my perception of my body. I will not allow myself to obsess over it. I am grateful that I even have a body and that is healthy. This is his opinion only. This is his visual. I must separate myself from this. My transformation began when I changed my reaction and I changed my feelings about myself. Interestingly, I then attracted a man who absolutely loved every thing about my body.

I love the excerpt from EmpoweredLiving.net.au “Marilyn Monroe….the worlds biggest icon! Her tummy isn’t tightly toned, her thighs touch, her arms aren’t skinny, she has stretch marks and her boobs aren’t perky. She is known as one of the MOST BEAUTIFUL women in history. Be confident girls. You are HOT, you are SEXY, you are a Marilyn so do not let any man, media or moment of judgement ever take away your confidence!” ♥ EL

So let’s begin ladies, please repeat “I know that I am beautiful and healthy. I know that no one can every make me feel bad about myself, as long as I feel good about me.” Sexy and beautiful emanates from the inside. If you feel beautiful on the inside, your will be perceived as beautiful on the outside. If you current partner doesn’t see that, it might be time to toss him aside and find someone who does. If you are currently in a relationship and receiving criticism you can ask yourself 1. What feelings can I change that will make me feel okay about my body in this relationship? 2. How can I change my reaction that will make me feel okay about my body, despite his perception. For example, “Sure honey, whatever you say, I like my body and I am happy with it.” 3.What circumstances must I change? Remember our bodies may not be the same at 20 as it is a 40. As we age our body is befitting to our evolution and transformation of new experiences and changing values.

For more information about Ho’ano Wellness Counseling and Life Coaching services with Jennifer Andrea, visit http://www.hoano.com/MotivationLifeCoaching.htm.

Satsang
– the inner voice of guidance and teaching that is awakened within you as you develop the potentials of your Soul or Higher Self.

Heal Your Emotional Heart, Today

Heal Your Emotional Heart

Have you ever felt betrayed, hurt or disappointed by another person? Harboring feelings inflicted by another will keep us in a negative self-image because we begin to identify with what someone else has done or said to us. A few weeks ago I went to Hawaii to visit an old male friend who was interested in exploring our compatibility. We had an amazing first week together, then I started to notice little actions on his part that were not serving me. He became unreliable, unresponsive and distant. I responded by feeling hurt, stating my hurt and asking why this person was not showing up for me.

This person could not give me what I needed because he was going through some major healing of his own after a long relationship.Instead of finding love with him, I found a new love of myself in which I was able to say NO, change my reactions, and make decisions on the rest of the trip to take care of myself, not waiting for this person to show up. My past self would have felt rejected, hurt and dissapointed. But instead, I found myself recognizing that his traits and actions had no influence on who I know to be as a person and what I deserve. I changed when I least expected and feel stronger than ever in my ability to choose what supports me. 

By separating yourself from the pain and hurtful remarks inflicted upon by others, we are able to see it as a memory, and not hold on to the feeling which will only limit and sabotage us from living full and meaningful lives. In doing so, you change your vibration and create a new self-image, attracting relationships that will be loving and supportive. Instead of saying “I am hurt”, I am now saying “That did not serve me and I am okay to move on and surround myself with people that do.” As we reframe old beliefs with new ones, change what we think about what someone else’s remarks or actions mean, let go of toxic ties, forgive others and oneself, we are able to be happier whether we are with or without someone in our lives. The feeling is something we create. Our goal is to be left with the memory and no pain at all.

How Bodywork, Wellness Counseling and Heart Centered Therapy Services can support you in Healing your Emotional Heart.

I am so impressed by the courageousness of some of my clients who have sought out bodywork services with me in order to heal physical ailments that they know are associated with past emotional trauma.  Self-acceptance, being able to let go of the past, the ability to ask for what they need or to speak what is on their mind are just some of the positive new changes that I have witnessed. Bodywork also can allow for a safe and nurturing touch to enter one’s life, by releasing old aches associated with painful memories.

Wellness Counseling attracts healthy individuals who seek change, but are feeling stuck or can’t seem to stop unwanted behavior patterns. Wellness Counseling asks questions to help reframe thoughts, behaviors and circumstances in achieving what a person wants or how they want to perceive a situation or a part of thyself. Individuals who aspire toward further self-fulfillment, but do not require psychologcial services for treatment of diagnosable conditions. Tap into your higher self to find clarity and achieve what you want in life.

Heart Centered Therapy is a loving and gentle approach to emotional healing, holding profound insight into the “Psychology of the Human Heart.” HCT involves dialogue techniques that bring healing to our deepest spiritual-emotional wounds that have blocked us from realizing our full potential and purpose in life. The healing involves not only the individual, but everyone that has been involved in the trauma, embracing the immediate family, lineage, and the collective consciousness through transformation of the whole being.

To learn more about Wellness Counseling services offered by Jennifer Telford, please visit http://www.hoano.com/MotivationLifeCoaching.htm

Heart Centered Therapy services are also available. Please inquire within by visiting Hoano
Skype and phone sessions available.

Where do you find Inspiration?

Inspiration is a gift that comes to each one of us to help us move through this life and the ultimate path of which we were meant to follow. Whether we recognize it or not, these precious blessings can come to us in many forms. For example; observing the beautiful qualities of a friend or lover, the guidance of a mentor, the life of a person who has overcome his/her disabilities, a socially responsible mission that helps humanity at large, a beautiful place in the world or a piece of music or art. Be grateful to whoever or whatever it is that inspires and motivates you, as this makes life worth living. Through inspiration we are reminded of our own uniqueness which ignites the dream of a deeper calling that we are creating in this lifetime.

I recently had a personal experience in which I was inspired by a man in my life. He has cultural qualities that I want to create in myself. This includes knowledge and experience of different countries and a variety of languages. He has also taught me how one person can make a difference. He connected with all his friends in the city and collected three large bags of shoes to donate to a project to help inner city kids. He has shown me determination in achieving what he wants in life by honoring his truth. Finally, this man has reminded me of the most important thing which is my self-worth. Our connection inspires me to love myself and honor what I hold true for me. Our interactions with others can sometimes be a reminder of what we need to value within ourselves. They become an opportunity for communication of our own needs.

Through inspiration, we are reminded of the pieces of ourselves that define who we are and where we are going. Inspiration brings us back to our core being and truth. Like the artist who starts with a canvas, the foundation of her inspiration. She then enhances the piece with a story of colors and textures. Her final masterpiece then invokes emotion and connects with a part of us and our vision. It is my vision to inspire women to listen and communicate the voice of your heart and honor your truth. By doing so we maintain a healthy emotional well-being. The more we love oneself the greater connection to our physical health.

The author, Jennifer Andrea is the founder of Ho’ano which means to ‘make your sacred vision a reality’. The Ho’ano vision is to empower women to love oneself, cultivate healthy relationships, manifest one’s dreams and change the way we think and care for breasts in promoting breast wellness. We offer innovative methods to inspire individuals to care for their mind and body in promoting health and well-being. Visit our site at Hoano.com

A Cup of Java: Caffeine and Women’s Health

Since moving to Los Angeles, I have become quite intrigued with drinking coffee. In the past, I wouldn’t get near the stuff because I didn’t like how coffee gave me the jitters. In reflecting on why I have become such a coffee lover, drinking coffee evokes an atmosphere of culture, like the European coffeehouses where artists and intellects join in conversation. Coffee also gives me a mild, yet stimulating euphoric high that provokes clear thoughts and motivates my daily tasks. Coffee fills an emotional void, similar to how emotional eating fills a void.

However, according to Dr. Laurie Steelsmith
coffee is a methylxanthine which is a compound that interferes with enzymes in the breast, resulting in fibrocystic breast condition. Reducing caffeine intake from coffee and chocolate can eliminate lumpy, painful breasts.” Though fibrocystic breasts are seen as benign, if not managed can result in more serious symptoms of the breast tissue. She also quotes that, “coffee depletes your kidney essence, leaving you more Qi-depleted than you were before you drank it.”

For now, I have decided to reduce my coffee intake to no more than 1 x a week. The emotional satisfaction coupled by the caffeine makes me think twice before making a cup of java. Instead, why not substitute that urge with lemon and water which is cleansing to the liver or a tea filled with powerful herbal nutrients. Loving oneself by making healthy choices for our body and mind requires self-discipline. This can be achieved through exercise, body and breast awareness,
affirmations, meditation, and journaling. Start by taking baby steps. The more I stay away from the craving, the more I am able to sit with my feelings and fill myself with a wholeness and joy that coffee is only masking temporarily.

For more information on caffeine and women’s health visit:
Women to Women

In love and light,

Jennifer Andrea of Hoano

How to keep your breasts healthy with massage and herbal oils


Circulation: The vital link to breast health

Breasts are filled with fluid-rich lymphatic pathways. They have no inherent musculature and require circulation for optimal health. Many factors can affect the DNA of healthy cells compromising breast health. For example emotional stress, environmental pollutants, preservatives in our foods lowers our immunity. Fatty breast tissue are a waste receptacle for toxins in the body. If the lymph system stagnates due to stress, tight bras, poor posture or trauma the immune fighting T-cells will have difficulty taking out the accumulated debris from the breast tissue making it a perfect breeding ground for cancer cells. Massage enhances circulation and prevents the buildup of stagnant lymph fluid.

How Self-Massage and Herbal Oils can Enhance Breast Health?

Gently massaging the breasts increases oxygen and nutrients and helps keep the tissue clean of impurities.
Self-breast massage

is an important therapeutic modality for easing or preventing breast related conditions and may offer a measure against breast cancer.

Benefits include:
* Alleviates premenstrual discomfort associated with breasts
* May help reduce fibroids and cysts
* Ease lumpiness of fibrocystic breasts
* Balancing effect on the hormones
* Improves breast size and shape
* Increased oxygen and nutrients
* Eases lymphatic congestion
* Makes skin soft, supple and resilient
* May help reduce scars and stretchmarks
* Encourages familiarity with one’s breasts
* Promotes relaxation, relieving internal tensions
* Deeper appreciation and acceptance of one’s body
* Encourages lymphatic circulation for post-surgery healing

Herbal Oils are certified organic herbs infused in cold pressed organic olive oil. The healing actions of the herbs migrate into the oil creating a simple, effective product for maintaining breast health.

Benefits include:
*Strengthen and add resiliency to the breast tissue
*Aids in enhancing lymphatic circulation
*Relieve internal tension
*Offers anti-inflammatory properties
*May help in dissolving troublesome lumps and cysts
*Gives skin a soft, supple, radiant glow.

Remember when doing your self-breast massage you want to use an oil that contains nourishing organic herbs that have a special affinity for the breasts to enhance the fluidity and feel of the breast tissue.

Breast Caress

offers a perfect blend of organic herbs, oils, and aromatherapy, inspires self-awareness of one’s breasts and body and offers an opportunity for women to love and nurture themselves. The more care and gratitude we give to ourselves, the greater the correlation to our good health.

In love and light

Article written by Jennifer Telford/owner of Hoano

Part 1: Beautiful in Your Own Skin: A Natural Approach to Breast Augmentation

Beautiful in Your Own Skin

Beautiful in Your Own Skin

I have a client who once wanted to have a breast lift. She said that her breasts were sagging after having nursed three children and if they had a lift they would have a perk to them and that would make her happier.

An ex-playboy bunny, who also used to sell bikinis on the beach, was now mentally struggling with the decision to cosmetically alter her breasts. Her struggle was due largely to the fact that it was her body that earned her salary and her outside appearance was important to her. Though she wanted this she knew deep down that as a naturalist resorting to surgery to create perkier breasts wasn’t really the route for her.

As her therapist who provides her monthly lymphatic drainage and breast care sessions,
I suggested to her to massage her breasts
regularly as a complement to our lymphatic breast care sessions.

Regularly massaging the breasts with an organic herbal oil blend
increases oxygen and nutrients to the breast tissue, promotes circulation, strengthens and adds resiliency thereby helping to enhance the firmness of your breasts.

A recent study in Thailand shows that breast augmentation is now being replaced with massage and exercises as a natural way to firm breast tissue. The techniques developed by the Public Health Ministry, are seen as a holistic alternative to expensive and risky surgery and have shown to be 100% satisfactory. (Honolulu Advertiser, Feb.15, 2003)

After months of receiving lymphatic breast care and doing her own self-massage of which has improved the feel and look of her breasts and self-body image, I asked my client if she would like to do a wellness counseling session
to see if her need for a breast lift was a result of a deeper emotional issue that needed to be addressed. The session concluded that she wasn’t listening to the wisdom of her heart and that breast augmentation was merely an exterior to a more delicate issue of self-nurturing. Her role as wife and mother often took precedence over her own needs which is common for many women.

Now, when I see her for sessions, I never hear her talk about her need for perkier breasts. This was the first time she was able to express her needs and concerns and it became the foundation for her in the months to come of assessing her own needs and learning to take care of herself amongst her other roles. Now she exudes an inner confidence that is completely comfortable in her skin and happy with her body and breasts.

Please note: The author of this article is presenting one story of a woman’s decision not to do breast augmentation to create awareness about alternative therapies to support one’s emotional and physical well-being in promoting breast wellness. The author is unbiased on this topic and supports a woman in whatever decision she makes regarding breast augmentation whether it be life saving or cosmetic.



%d bloggers like this: